Indiana Jones' biggest fan
by Erman Bullock
Summary: Surprisingly, its not his mother... she's dead


There was a breaking sound that echoed really loudly throughout the city. It was night time though, so people didn't mind. The man was broke, despite, and a little bit insane at the moment, it was the most and least he could do to survive. With a crowbar in hand, he pried at the door of a local corner store. Finally, the door came open, and he gave himself a smile. But then immediately put it away before he embarrassed himself.

"Now, by the crack of day and the justice that it seeks. Me, a warrior, shallows the hilt of defeat by the lord of all in poverty and famine. Beyond, the great sent of DORITOS and MOUNTAIN OF DEW whilst become mine. A treasure that even the GODS and THE SUN envy in its shake of the bag." He said this with pure pride in his heart.

The man may be crazy, but at least he knew how to monologue long enough for the cops to come from the alarm he set off.

"Drop the crowbar!" The cop became to scream at the man

"Or what?"

"Or I'll shoot you. Actually, I might as well do it now anyways…"

BANG. The cop fired at the stupid man. He was a stupid man, but the idea of Doritos and mountain dew didn't sound like the worst thing in the world….

"Hey! What are you do Henry?" His parent speaks back to him.

"Oh you know George, just getting some evidence. Want something?"

"How about a Coke"

"No George! What the Heck is wrong with you!? What type of thoughtless and deranged individual would drink Coka Cola…. In fact, get your own, you …..Casual. Darn it! You suuuuuck!"

Henry was enraged at his stupid partner. He even kicked the guy bleeding out on the ground because he was so angry. He wanted to slap him or shoot him or whatever, but he also wanted Doritos. He stepped into the corner store and helped himself. A nice bag of Doritos and Mountain Dew.

"Hey Henry?"

"What….." Henry wasn't happy to hear his stupid Dorito wanting voice

"I think this guy is that famous Archeologist. You know… Indiana Jones! I always wanted to meet him, I am like his biggest fan. It's kind of disappointing though that he was secretly a criminal and a homeless junkie."

"I DON't Caaaare. STOP DISTURBING THE CRIME SCINE! YOU MORON! GOD!" Henry was about fed up with that man. Honestly, the nerve of some people.

Henry grabbed a cigarette from an unopened pack and light it. He through the rest of the pack on the ground. He took a look around the place as he smoked his cigarette inside. He tipped over one of the aisles and laid against its surface and began check his phone.

All that was pressing was a message from his wife that said:

" _Hello sweetie. I hope works it doing just fine at work :) XOXO._

 _Also, there is another guy that I have been cheating on you with for our entire relationship and am marrying him this Monday. I never loved you, no one ever loved you, your mother died this morning with her final words being that she never loved you, and I would be surprised if you loved you. I am leaving you, and I have already taken the house I have sold all of your precious possessions in a garage sale this morning. You are now homeless and unloved_

 _Take care dear :) XOXOXOXO_ "

Henry rolled his eyes. "Whatever. At least I have you… Doritos. I knew you will never hate or even harm me". He said this as he opened the bag and took his first chip and implanted it on the top of his tongue.

"Actually Henry… I also hate you" A voice said.

Henry looked town at his Doritos, but his vision is getting blurry. He knew the feeling immediately. HE HAD BEEN POSIONED!

"But why? And also how….." He voice was like a whisper now as light faded from his eyes. He hand with the cigarette loosened and the smoldering drug-o-matic became to cast a fire point at the Cornerstone's weak points for critical damage (*If you know what I mean ;)).

Now that the store was enflamed, the other more flammable parts of the store generated some kind of _super fire_. It was like… really big and flamey.

Briefly, the officer looked at his watch and peered inside at the charcoaled body of his partner inside. At that moment, some of the more explosive contents became to create this big 'pop' and 'bang' noises inside.

"Are you alright in there? Hello? I actually decided I want a Diet Cola instead. I just realised I an extreme diet, and I would mind it if you would take my health in consideration…"

There was no reply. George didn't really know what to do. He didn't think it would take that long to get some chips and a drink, even if the building suddenly caught fire. Nevertheless, he trusted his partner with all of his heart.

15 minutes passed, and the beginning of the fire had long but passed. Now it was very big and starting to spread to other buildings. George stared at the fire as he waited.

"It must be hot in there…. I'm sure he's fine." He said to himself assuredly.

"Oh I know what to do!" He said in a stroke of genius. He went over to the police car, and rubbed against its surface with his hands. "I will give betty a nice makeover." He smiled as he always brought the proper tools needed to repair or refurbish a car.

He started with a nice flesh layer of polish, and a coat of another substance to protect against rust. He was a lot of hard work, and even he looked super dirty afterwards. At some points he had to make a bunch of noise with the good old wrench. Suddenly, misprocess. George heard screams from a resident beside the corner store.

"OMG HElP! (*cough cough) FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! I am trapped with my baby. I NEED HElP" A lady who had opened the window to scream her words across the asleep city.

I'm sorry Madam… But can you keep it down… People are trying to sleep. Do you know what hour it is?" George replied to the desperate Mother.

"I'm sorry Officer…" She politely curtsied in her nightgown at the constable. "Anything for an officer of the law"

"Thank you Madam" George reciprocated with a tip of his hat. "Good night madam"

"Yes… I suppose I shall" She turned around to see the entire right a bright red beam of Satan. She screamed.

"Don't make me come up there Madam… For disturbing the peace and what all" George Smeared as he continued to perfect the entire.

"Ahhh… HELP! My Child he's on fire. OMG Son… speak… cry… do anything. Please don't let the fire take you…."

"And don't let me come up there and take you myself Madam. Seriously, I am starting to lose my patience"

The lady coughed and coughed as teared started to fill her eyes as well as smoke. She jumped out with her child to avoid the terror of burning alive. The long fall was more than enough to instantly kill her, leaving yet another mess that Henry and George have to clean up.

"People these days have no respect for the law…." George mutter as he worked away.

That night, several other of similar occurances happened all around the fire. A dozen or so took their lives and George fixed a dozen or so issues with good Ol' betty he didn't know was previously there. At the end of the experience. George at to leave Henry to found his own way home, George met Indiana Jones and it was a huge disappointment, and He never got his Diet Cola.

THE END


End file.
